Since the last time we spoke, my mother faked her own kidnapping. I am trying to figure out a way to make that more interesting than it already comes across in a single sentence.
For now though, I noticed I have a lot of texting mishaps where I am misunderstood. Usually it’s a simple typo, but the other end always goes away feeling as if I’m a douche. Nothing could be further from the truth. As a self improvement exercise, I went back and looked at my more recent texts. I’ll let you be the judge.
The next one is from a shut in friend of mine. Maybe he would be able to look society in the eye if he didn’t do dumb things.
Am I a dick? I think not. The evidence clearly shows, these are all honest mistakes.